A long-awaited return to blogging.

 Hi all.

I hope I still have some readers out there. I truly am very sorry for my unannounced hiatus. Believe me, I missed blogging. For a while I felt like it would be best to discontinue the blog if I'm going to be so inconsistent, but that would be very hard. So, I decided to step back up and keep doing what I do.

This past semester was very hard, for a lot of reasons. One day, I stopped being able to focus on work. I was so worried about work that it interfered with work. I started to worry about other things - what if my friends secretly hate me? What if I'm ugly? What if I'm too stupid to finish college? What will I do with my degree?

From there it progressed further. The same sentence would flash in my mind, over and over, making me incapable of simple tasks. It was a very simple sentence, but a very powerful one indeed. It said: Everything is falling apart.

Finally, I accepted therapy. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, C-PTSD, and possible panic disorder. My therapist and I worked on some strategies for dealing with anxiety and panic when they come, and how to battle the depression most effectively. (One strategy was to clear my plate of everything that wasn't absolutely necessary and essential. This blog, though I love it, was on that list.)I was able to focus enough to finish the semester, but I'm by no means "fixed." It will likely be a long battle to happiness.

But that's not all that's been happening, and it's not what I want to focus on.

Firstly, after the semester was over I got new hair!

Before. Long, side bangs, etc.

After! I went with a straight bang. I love it so far! 

Out and about with my new hair.
Sunnies: Target

I waited until after the semester in case I hated it. I've always been super stressy about changing my hair. I'm always so afraid it'll look awful. But part of it was that I wanted a change after everything that happened this past semester. It felt liberating and very nice.

I also took a maymester to get some extra credits completed as well as to cushion the blow to my gpa that last semester caused. I took my junior seminar and a class on the ancient philosophy of yoga. My junior sem was a writing intensive that I need to graduate. The professor I took focused the class around inherited genetic diseases. Did you guys know that being a heterozygous carrier for sickle cell helps protect against Malaria? Or that being a carrier for cystic fibrosis protects against tuberculosis? The body's evolutionary defenses are endlessly fascinating! Yogic philosophy will probably get its own post now that I have time, but I'll just say for now that even though it's ancient (upwards of 6000 years old) it makes so much sense, even and especially in light of scientific discoveries of the past several years.

Now, of course, I feel obligated to bombard you with pictures and news about APO!

This was my first day wearing letters! My wonderful big ordered them from greekgear.com

Pledging almost got scrapped for being unnecessary, but I felt so much friendship and positivity with my brothers that I knew it would be worth it. And I was right! Time spent serving with my brothers really truly was my safe haven when it felt like everything else was falling apart.

My pledge class, now newly initiated brothers!

My family tree. Top center is my g-g-g-big Brittany Brown and her descendants.

My family line!
From left to right: my big Rachel, my g-big Jess, and yours truly

It's been a great journey through the pledge process, and I'm so excited to begin my life as a brother of Alpha Phi Omega! Jess, my g-big, is Pledgemaster again, and she asked me to shadow her as her assistant! I'd love to run for Pledgemaster so the experience should help with that.

One last one! Yours truly at formal. I was dateless, but had a wonderful time with my brothers!
Dress: a store called Group USA
I'm donating it to my high school so someone else can feel as pretty in it as I do, so it was nice to wear one more time.

That's all the fraternity business for now. To finish off, let's talk summer reading!

I think the last book I told you I was reading was Standing in the Light: My Life as a Pantheist by Sharman Apt Russell. That was a fantastic read, I highly recommend it. Since then I've read Neil Gaiman's American Gods, a truly epic story by my favorite author, and Watchmen the graphic novel. I'm obsessed with the movie (and I'm going as the Silk Spectre for halloween!), and reading the book was awesome. What can I say? I'm a nerd.

In May, both Khaled Hosseini and Dan Brown had new novels come out, so I immediately picked those up on my nook tablet (Nook HD+ for anyone who's curious). Hosseini's novel, And the Mountains Echoed, was beautifully written as always, while not being as heart wrenching as his book The Kite Runner. Id give it 3.5 stars and would recommend it for anyone who likes deeply felt and strikingly human stories. Dan Brown's latest, Inferno, is my favorite by him so far. It was exciting, interesting, kept me on the edge of my seat, and dealt with current issues. 5 stars and highly recommended from me! (As a side note, I'd like to state for the record that I fully support the "bad guy." Do with that information what you will.)

Now I'm about to read something super important to me. Something that, interestingly enough, came out in 2009.

I bought this book when it first came out, on my tiny original nook. Since then, I've made it 84 pages into it. It's that gruesome. It's an author's research into the meat and agribusiness industry in America, and not since Upton Sinclair's The Jungle has such a horrifying exposé been put in print form. Did you know that for every ten large predatory fish that existed in the wild 50-100 years ago, only one is left due to overfishing the oceans? Or that the average KFC bird is only 39 days old at slaughter? Think about how many growth hormones it takes to make them that big! 

These are two facts I learned just from the first 84 pages of this book. It's a brutal read, but also very informative and important for anyone who cares about animal rights/welfare, public health and safety,  or sustainable food production. I've made it a goal to finally read it, start to finish. We'll see how this goes!

Sorry this was a long one guys, I just felt like I had so much to tell you! Look out for a post on some shopping I did this weekend, cruelty free beauty (as always), and a post about my recent exploits and discoveries about ways to help animals in need. 

Til then!

Alie

(Yes, I changed the spelling! What do you think?)